Some days I think I just might be doing things a little better. I seem to have a groove for what I really want to do, how I really want to handle a situation and how I want the day to go. I have experienced this same 24 hour period every day now for 46 years. I am very seasoned in this "day" thing. But no. There seems to be a constant pull between what I have learned and what I will do. Why the gap?
For instance, I have raised three daughters to adulthood and have two children left at home. I should have this whole mommy thing down by now. The mistakes I made with the older children should be long forgotten and forgiven. I still make the same mistakes and then I find that I have added some new ones some days.
It is a like the pull between good and better and best. How do we push ourselves to be our best every day? It is a formula I haven't figured out and I think I may have been at my best several years ago. My best is waning. I'm slipping backwards. AHHHHH!
I know what I want, I know who I am and I know where I want to be and who I want to be there with. I can answer all those questions easily. I love the days when feel my actions are congruent with the verbal answers I can give.
How will I ever know if it is enough?
I know the real answer lies at the end of our lives. The assignments will be just and based upon what we have chosen in life...the things of God or the things of Man.
Some people believe we will know if we have chosen God when we can see the pearly gates of heaven before us. The light of heaven will feel warm and inviting and we will hear the words,
"Thou hast chosen well."
"Thou hast chosen well."
I'm just afraid in my process of passing from this life, I will wake up to see that I have chosen Man far too much and that I have arrived at the golden arches instead. There I will see the glare of the neon signs and a voice at the drive through will ask,
" Do you want fries with that?"
Oh boy.
" Do you want fries with that?"
Oh boy.
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