The Invisible Apology

I went out alone today to the grocery store. I need to start figuring out where places are again. I should know a lot of this area but it has grown so much since we left I find myself in unfamiliar territory often. As I left the grocery store I passed by a Marshalls retail store. Upon seeing it, I had pangs of regret. It was there I had done something terrible years previous.

It was probably 1999, and I had something I needed to return to Marshalls. It was a mirror. I thought I liked it in the store but then when I got it home I actually hated it. It had been in my home several months and I knew I really needed to get it back so I could get some money returned for my foolish purchase.

One day I loaded all five kids in the van and headed back with the mirror. I arrived,  unloaded all the kids from the van and walked into the Marshalls.  I then stood in line with all five kids to wait for my turn to return the mirror. When I got to the counter I explained that it had been several months but that I wanted to return it for money. I knew it was a long shot but I at least tried. There was some counsel with several of the women behind the counter. I waited. The consensus among them was that I needed a receipt for cash to be given back. I was not happy. They even questioned if I had purchased the mirror from them. So I got back in the van with the five kids and the mirror to go home to look for the receipt. I got home...unloaded all five kids and went into the house and began searching through my plastic box where receipts were kept. It took some time but I located, Ah Hah! the receipt. I had a terrific feeling of satisfaction!

I loaded all five kids back into the van...did I mention their ages?...Rachel was 12, Carly was 10, Jenna was 8, Shane was 4 and Cassie was 2...and headed back for Marshalls. The return of money was welcome back in those days of tight finances.

I parked, unloaded all five kids from the van and entered the store. I then stood in line with all five kids to wait for my turn to return the mirror.  Several of the women behind the counter eyed me...so when I got to the counter I explained that it had been several months but that I wanted to return it for money AND I now had the receipt. The young girl that was taking care of me must have been the "new girl" because the other women scattered and found busy work to avoid taking care of me.

I think they were shocked that I had made the effort. And from their response I think they had never really intended to return the money. The  young girl helping me began the process of returning my money and then another girl from the back came forward....whisper...whisper...point.

I was becoming very angry and frustrated!

So now young girl that was going to give me my money back had changed her mind and would only give me store credit!

I ranted.
" I was told I needed a receipt...went all the way home!!...loaded all my kids and have come back and forth!!!!" and the accusations of lying were unacceptable in front of my kids!!"

I am sure a little spitting accompanied my rant.

and then it happened...

my regret...

I exclaimed,

" YOU WERE READY TO RETURN MY MONEY UNTIL CHUBBY HERE( i pointed to girl that had come from the back) CAME FROM THE BACK!"

my children gasped...

and now today those same children LOVE to tell the story of me calling a poor girl "chubby" at a Franklin, TN Marshalls. They laugh at me, tell my new friends the story and then elaborate and embellish my out of control rant. Who knows what the real story is any more!

But I do remember clearly calling her "chubby."

What can I say?! I was a stressed out, tired, overwhelmed, poor young mother!

I just wanted my $20 back!

So today as I passed by the store of my shame, I picked up my phone and dialed Carly.
She answered.

" I just went by the Marshalls where "Chubby" works. I went in to apologize but they said she had quit years earlier...."

Some memories are there to remind me that I am good and might be on track but other memories are there to remind me that I still have some work to do.

So wherever you are "Marshalls, Chubby Girl Employee" I am sorry.

 Today I would NEVER say something like that!

She must have put a curse on me that day... because in a cruel turn of events I could now be considered the chubby woman behind the counter just trying to do my job.