Friendless

A quick review of how much I moved around as a child is necessary to understand where I am going with my post today. The quickest way to do that would be bullet points.

* Started kindergarten in Wichita, Kansas
* Moved halfway through second grade to Hoffman Estates, Illinois
* Moved halfway through fourth grade to Flushing, Michigan
* Moved halfway through fifth grade to Arlington Heights, Illinois
* Moved summer before high school to Edina, Minnesota
* Moved halfway through sophomore year to Germantown, Tennessee
graduated from Germantown High School in 1982 with a senior class of roughly 600 student of whom I knew very few or very well.

Because of the moving I had very few real friendships. As soon as I would form some friendships we would move. This was especially hard when we left Arlington Heights. Through it all,  my best friend was Joni, my sister. Later, as I became a teenager,  my older sister, Kathy became my best friend as well. I know that I was blessed to be in such circumstances of friendlessness for a reason. But why?


I observed people, listened to people, watched their doings and internalized much of what they said and did into a deep thought and understanding. I became tutored in who was real or fake. I began to rely on the things I was taught in Primary about the Savior being our friend. I cared about what I was being taught in church and tried to apply those principles in real life. Most of all I realized how much I liked me.

In all of the ups and downs of life, liking me has saved me countless troubles and complications. I could spend hours with me and feel fine. I see others surrounded with throngs of friends who seem more lost and needy that what such apparent support should provide. It seems there are many that seek out the amount of  friends, rather than the quality of the friends. It seems to pull them into gossip and backbiting. I see in these type of situations the problem of offenses and grudges. People choose sides.

Not me.

I choose to love all people. I don't care if you criticize me or berate me. It doesn't matter if you have chosen to never speak to me again. I find a level of peace knowing that I would come to you in a time of need or crisis without hesitation.

In my observance of people in my life without friends, I believe those that are the most angry or upset have had no chance to make it on their own. They are the most insecure and lost.

I am thankful every day for the chance I had to be alone and friendless to discover who I am and what is the most important to me.

love....it's everything I want to take back with me.