Groundhog Day

Motherhood was always part of my dream. When I put it all together in my mind, it was about "how many boys and how many girls", it was about finding cute names and making a list of my favorites and knowing how different and good natured my children would be... and then I became a mom, for real (insert scratched record sound here). Of course, the reality of motherhood was far less fluffy than my dream. It required all my best practices, forced me to my knees, watered my pillow with countless tears, brought about emotional pains that I didn't know existed, made me doubt myself and forced me to look to heaven for help. ps...prayer works. No, for real, it works.
Being a mama changed my view of life; to the things that matter most. Their well being was paramount. I had to teach them to be emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually aware. I had to discipline and instruct. Again and again and again.
From mothering I found my best gifts; I'm a story teller (my kids call this lecturing) a creative problem solver, a gatherer of people, a photographer and an artist. I have danced and cheered, read books with funny voices and foreign accents, colored pictures and curled hair. I've run assembly lines, catered meals, been a game show host, created blue prints, diagnosed illness and also diagnosed fake illness. I became an interior decorator, an accountant and was even called in on hostage negotiations (better known as grounding). Did I mention I dealt with drama?
I found that virtues like forgiveness, trust, kindness, meekness, hope- so much hope and patience... and more patience were my greatest tools. Some nights I went to bed knowing I had failed in using any of these virtues. Sometimes, more often than I want to remember, I needed a time out for my bad behavior. Ugh...tomorrow was always fresh with no mistakes in it.
The reality of motherhood has changed me forever. And it's not over. My role as a mother is eternal and expanding. With time, they bring home more people to love. I adore being a mom-in-law to Fran. But I will always be mother to Rachel, Carly, Jenna, Shane and Cassie, which is good, because they are my happiness.