My Resume'

Girl's Camp has been a part of my life for over 30 years. I first went as a 12 year old and have since gone as a leader for many years. I have been to camp in Illinois, Minnesota, Tennessee and Missouri. I even went twice when I was pregnant but in the last 3 years my attendance has fizzled out. At camp the songs are timeless. There is one song called Fried Ham that is one of those that I will be singing well into my old age. I sang this song when I was 12 and when I was 40. In the song there is one verse only but it can be sung many different ways. The point of the song is to sing the first verse

"Fried ham, fried ham
Cheese and bologna
and after the macaroni
We'll have onions
Pickles and pretzels
And then we'll have
some more fried ham
fried ham, fried ham."

Then before we sang the second verse we chanted

"Second verse, same as the first,
baby accent a whole lot worse."

or

"third verse, same as the first,
british accent a whole lot worse."

On and on the song went with new accents. Some of the accents were pretty ridiculous.

Well with five children to raise, this song, Fried Ham, was a great pattern for parenting. How, you may wonder? Well, I was talking with Rachel the other day and she mentioned that what she saw in our parenting now was different than what she had growing up. I reasoned with her to make her understand that the parenting was the same but the approach, or accent if you will, was different with each one of our kids.

Parenting approach or verse #1

FIRM AND HEY! I'M THE PARENT HERE-With Rachel you had to be firm but knew she would be respectful. Sometimes she would listen respectfully and then tweak what she had heard and do it her own way. Some of her siblings thought that her instructions were as good as ours and I would often hear "Well Rachel said to do it this way" or "Rachel said we could"

Second verse- CALM AND CAREFUL.... Carly was tricky. She was respectful after calm and easy instruction but you couldn't tell if she had the intention to really follow through. She looked us straight in the eye and batted her eyes and stayed pretty much under the radar. She stayed still and silent and hoped because of her lack of rebuttal all the demands would be forgotten.

Verse #3- LOOK ALIVE... there can be no wavering in your instruction or in the follow up with Jenna. She is bobbing and weaving all the time, better keep yourself alert and focused, and if you are caught with even one eye closed...BAM you have been outsmarted! this is intense and you have to be able to communicate because Jenna can talk talk talk!!! Boy can she talk! Sometimes this verse can be exhausting.

Verse#4- CAN YOU GIVE ME THE DATA ON THAT? Shane wants a presentation with a follow up of proven data. He loves to reason with you and the only way to really reach that place with him is with percentages. Questions are asked like, " What do you think the chance is that we will be able to go to the movie tonight?" I have to have my ducks in a row mathematically and scientifically to get him to understand that he is responsible for cleaning the kitchen one night a week.

The final verse... STALLED AT THE SIDE OF THE ROAD The Cassie verse is still being written as she is just 13 but we are beginning to see the first few lines might have some words like stall and quit milking it in it. There is some concern we might need to pick up the time on this verse so we can finally get to the end of the song.

So through the years I have begun to see that even though we have tried to be consistent with our kids in the things we teach them the approach is so different.

Years ago when a VERIZON executive questioned our sanity at having five children, I told him confidently.

" You put me in any management position you have in your company and I can run circles around the ones you have in place."

Thanks to my amazing kids I have perfected the skills of being firm and in charge, keeping calm, watching careful and looking alive. I am ready to prove scientifically what I have to say and if you are found moving a bit to slow I know how to light a fire under you to get you moving.