Walking Through Doors

My first grade reader today was a freckled face girl named Jamie. She seemed enthusiastic as we entered the door to the reading room, explaining that she had never done the morning read before. I directed her to the appropriate bin where she could choose a book to read to me. I stooped low to show her some of the fun books available to her. She hesitantly pulled a book from the pile and began flipping through the pages. I explained that she didn't need to look through it quite yet but we could go sit on the rug to read.

"Oh no," she stated resolutely

"I am checking each page to see if there are too many words!"

I reassured her that she would do just great with the book she held in her hands and that I would help her if she got stuck. She reluctantly came and plopped down beside me.

" Do I have to read the title?" she queried

" Of course!" I announced with enthusiasm and a smile.

Still she doubted. I didn't sense she couldn't read, but that she was delaying her reading because she would rather not try than to falter. 

She began. 

 I noticed that she sounded things out in her head or in a whisper so low I couldn't hear her. She was afraid and so concerned that even her practice of phonics would be wrong. The first page done, we flipped to the next page. She sat frozen and made no attempt to begin.

"What if I read a word and then you read the next word and we could trade back and forth?" she bargained.

I smiled, "I think you should read it and I will help you." 

She half-heartedly began again. She flipped through two more pages reading with ease and then...I saw the trepidation. 

" No way I can read this page. There are too many words!"

I brushed it off.

"Of course you can. We will be done with this page in no time."

With each word I let her start the pronunciation and then I spoke just trailing her sounds with my own. Together we read through the tough page. It was a small celebration when she made it through. I continued layering my reading sounds with hers and she grew more and more certain that she really could finish this book. I threw in, "Great reading" and "way to go" with each finished page and then a high five when she completed the eight page book.

She had done it and I was so happy for her. She smiled with assurance.

I've been thinking about Jamie since then.

When Jamie walked through that reading room door she began doubting herself. She was ready to quit and forfeit the joy of reading a book altogether. She had decided that it was too difficult and had pin-pointed exactly where she would fail; when there were too many words on the page.

I think of all the doors that are open to us each day; doors that will lead us to friends, talents or wisdom.  At times we won't even consider turning the door knob to look in. Sometimes we are brave enough to cross over the threshold but never take advantage of what is being offered as soon as we pass through the door and into the room. And some of us ignore the doors and prefer to waver. 

I know from my own experience that the walk through the door can be exciting and overwhelming. But once in the room there are others to help, encourage and show us the way. The time in the room can be frustrating and invigorating. We learn more about ourselves and our capabilities having taken the invitation to step through the door and into a new place full of opportunities.

So don't hesitate, vacillate or stagger. Be certain, sure and brave and step through the door.

Something wonderful is inside.