I have been sleeping for days. Anesthesia makes me loopy for a while. Really, really loopy. When I woke up 30 minutes ago I was in a complete panic. I just knew we had left our child, Sam, at a gas station in Arkansas. My heart was racing as I envisioned him wandering around that gas station alone. I was running through my mind the last time I saw Sam so I could retrace my steps. I couldn't believe that I hadn't noticed he was missing til now. I felt like such a bad mother! I wanted to cry but felt too panicked to do even that!
Cassie was in the bed next to me watching tv when I considered asking her when she remembered seeing him last. It was at that moment when I started asking her that I realized there were several problems with involving her in my dilemma.
1. I don't have a son named Sam.
2. I haven't been in an Arkansas gas station in several years.
3. And I don't want Cassie to see that her mother has....
LOST HER MIND!!!!!
2 comments:
This past weekend Ry's cousins came to visit and she has three kids. One is on the sofa watching a movie the other is crawling around next to me and the other one was being changed by his mother. She had one leg in her grasp and the other cleaning his butt, while she screamed out for Johnny to come see this part on the movie....Well JOhnny was the one she was changing. I officially mommed her. Child in hand and calls out for him as if she lost him. Welcome to the club where your mind has gone.
Thanks for worrying about MY little son, but really, he's fine. I must say, I have moments like that without the meds, so you do survive it...but regretfully, disorientation becomes familiar ground.
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